Trust is a core value that we strive to achieve on a daily basis based on conversation, behavior, thoughts, relationships with others and relationships with ourselves. Trust is built over time with small efforts. Brene Brown is an educator, speaker, and forward thinker on living courageously even it can be uncomfortable. An excerpt from her bio on brenebrown.com gives a peek - "The bottom line: I believe that you have to walk through vulnerability to get to courage, therefore…embrace the suck. I try to be grateful every day, and my motto right now is “Courage over comfort.”
It is very easy to stay in your lane, not change directions, not deal with adversity, accept no responsibility and just go with the flow. What does this have to do with TRUST? Everything. Trust is defined as a firm belief in the character, strength, or truth of someone or something." So let's dive in with the relationship to your health.
When you are on the path to making changes, it can really shake up the world around you. Changing your nutrition, starting to exercise, training for a race, learning to meditate, taking a class online, kicking a bad habit, changing careers - these are just a few lifestyle changes that so many tackle at one point or another. To be successful, the value of TRUST is a non-negotiable. You have to TRUST the people you may hire to help you, you have to TRUST your support system, you have to TRUST that you are capable of achieving your goals, and you have to TRUST that if you fail, you will get up and keep going.
In listening to the BRAVING podcast ( 2 parter) on Spotify, I decided to take the acronym of the BRAVING INVENTORY and apply it to the work I do as a health coach and trainer. This may help you carve out your path to measurable changes. It's provided me with new insight on my personal and business work. I have sighted examples with each defining brick in the BRAVING wall.
B - BOUNDARIES - set boundaries to make clear what is okay and what is not okay. It is ok to turn down alcoholic beverages and order sparkling water especially if you want to change the behavior of having too many cocktails at social gatherings. Another boundary is turning down an invitation because it is your scheduled workout time and there is no other day to get it done. This may also raise conflict, but being very clear with those around you will help solidify your path.
R - RELIABILITY - keep your word, don't over commit and create balance so that you can deliver on your priorities. More often than not, I have high powered executives as clients for health coaching or private training. They want to do everything at the highest level, but they fall short on reliability. They will show up late, cancel at the last minute or take phone calls during appointment times. The commitment they made to me and to themselves is null at this point. The system they have in place for prioritization will not help to achieve a goal.
A - ACCOUNTABILITY - show up, own your mistakes and apologize. When hiring a coach, clients spend time setting goals and hopefully setting up systems to achieve these goals. It is normal human response to not follow through or to make excuses as to why. If change was easy, I would be out of work. Are you the person who sets an appointment time to meet a friend to walk, you hit snooze or opt to take a phone call only to miss the time? By showing up, apologizing and fixing your behavior you start to build back the wall of trust.
V - VAULT - do not share information or experiences that don't belong to you. Sharing information about other people is a no-no. Confidentiality is a key component to relationship building. If you are in a group coaching session and learn about adversities others are having with change, it is so important to respect privacy and not share this information. Also, when a coach specifically writes a plan for your goals, it's understood that this plan will not be shared with others mainly because it is a model of success customized for YOU. Sharing is not an option it's a fault line.
I - INTEGRITY - practice your values. Choose courage over comfort. It's very easy to do things fast to get it done. This reflects in your values. Re-racking your behaviors and mindset to live a healthier, more positive life is a daunting task. Opportunities for growth are presented when establishing goals and the little victories matter. But if you decide to take short cuts with your plan related to change then you are setting yourself up to fail in a different capacity. What will happen? In a week, a month or even a year - you will be in the same place or close to it. So if something is not working for you, talk with your coach and invest in your belief that there is a system to help you achieve. Don't wing it.
N - NON-JUDGMENT - can you ask for what you need from friends, family, and co-workers without the fear of an eyeroll? Do you speak with your coach only to feel that you are not being heard so you just keep going through the motions? It is so important to have a support team where the equal communication is valued. The following are examples of nonjudgement scenarios.
a) Let your family know that a few meals a week will cater to what you need to eat more nutritious foods, much to your surprise they look forward to trying new foods. b) It's Donut Day at work, you decide to ask your co-workers to skip the donuts and try bringing a fruit tray. Big surprise - several people are on board due to health. c) While training for your first triathlon, your training is taking too much time away from family on the weekend. You ask for a rewrite from your coach so you can be more present on the weekend. The coach speaks with you to create a more balanced plan. Being honest with your team will add to your success.
G - GENEROSITY - how generous are you towards other people? This is about the boundaries you have established for yourself. How do you give people the benefit of the doubt when they keep sabotaging your efforts to live a healthier, more energetic and happier life? People will write stories in their heads and try to insert blaming and shaming on your efforts. Then you start in a vicious cycle of hurting others in return with your actions or words. It's important to open the door of conversation so that you can redefine your boundaries, respectfully listen and come to a common ground of understanding. Create a playback so that each person involved is heard and understood.
WOW - are you exhausted? I am for sure. BUT, as you read and perhaps re-read this, you can see how BRAVING is an important part of personal growth. It is a guide to check-in with yourself so that you stay true to your goals.
So let's start a conversation....where are you on TRUST and BRAVING. Let's get uncomfortable.